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one girl in all the world

February 25, 2003

Tuesday Geek Entry...

okay, Buffy fans all have an idea of who they want to see her end up with, since the series is coming to an end very soon, and it seems that a majority of them prefer her with either with Angel or Spike. now, since this is a fictional world, one cannot get really picky about how things work, but it occurs to me that "being with" a vampire would have more drawbacks than just "oops! he lost his soul again."

an undead person would be room temperature. skin, lips, and everything else. the inside of the mouth would maybe be slightly warmer, but since vampires don't actually breathe, you could argue it could just as easily be slightly colder. and other things would be as well.

may i take a moment here to say ew?

so anyway, i have always liked the idea of her with Giles. many people say ew to that, and i can see their point, because they have a narrow idea of how it looks for a middle-aged man to be with a young woman, even though that used to be considered a good thing all around (he had cash, she was fertile,) but these are the same people who like to see her snogging with the undead. so they are just not reasonable to begin with.

anyway, i just figure watcher/slayer, mentor/mentee (whatever,) friend/friend. they say she doesn't have a long life span. so why would age matter, of all things? it's not like she could be with anyone normal her own age.

which is worse, eye wrinkles, or 68 degree tongue?

besides, Angel and Spike are cool on their own. they're just annoying when they're with Buffy.

hot, likely not

February 24, 2003

okay, a couple of us have been hanging out at hot or not? you know, that website where you shamelessly upload a picture and let other people rate you. hey, mine's there. i think i got an 8.3 or something. anyway, the point is, we don't really rate men based on whether they are handsome in any traditional sense, because we don't usually find typically handsome men attractive, rather, they're rated according to whether they look like someone you could actually endure at dinner. so here are some rules i've come up with to make the ratings more consistent:

first, if you are holding a cigarette, you get a 1. this is because i am not allowed to give you a 0. if you are holding it as part of your photo pose, i light a black candle for you. (just kidding.) everyone else starts at 5 or 7. if you are partially undressed, you start at 5. then you lose or gain points based on a variety of factors, and a loose comparison to the previous person's photo.

i can't believe how many of them are long-distance, or blurry, and those are clearly point-subtractors. so are pictures of you hugging your dog, sitting with cans of beer nearby, or if you look like you may have been jailed recently. also, reclining seductively? not really.

i will give a point for pathos.

points also gained for: being, or at least looking british (duh,) interesting but not tacky photo retouches, standing in front of a tractor (but not a motorcycle, that's the same as a dog,) or with really interesting stereo equipment or in a field in Ireland. you lose points if you are sitting with your lame pc, if you have one or both arms up over your head in a seductive pose, or if you are pretending to be sensitive on the beach wearing loafers, or if, for god's sake, you are posing with your car, which is probably a red pontiac. if you are wearing a cap and sunglasses, just what is your point, anyway?

yeah, i'm harsh. but you asked for it, right? i've given a few 9s, a number of 8s, but no 10s yet. not too many 1s or 2s, actually. most men are between 4 and 7, and that's just fine. i love men, i truly do.

one more thing--if someone asks to take your photo, please don't hold your chin in your hand.

metaphor buffet

February 22, 2003

metaphor buffet...

ever think about ownership? possession? of humans, i mean. i bet you think you're not into that, either you allow others around you to remain autonomous, or you see nothing wrong with people having to answer to each other in quite a few different ways, and you'd never call that a claim to ownership. to the first, i say--maybe so, maybe not. to the second, i say, well, i'd like to say many things, but let's start with this question: what is the difference between a controlling romantic partner and the Chinese government? between the typical American marriage and a typical session in Congress?

was that painting too broad a stroke on the picture? i just like to start wide with theory and then chisel away with reason--ok, mixing art metaphors, i will step away from the picture now, but return to this idea later, and work through it deductively. well, probably inductively, too, why not attack something from inside out as well as outside in? life might be a doughnut.

i think marriage can be a beautiful thing, by the way, and have first-hand experience at that, but i'm doing a variety of metaphors, and the ownership concept is what i really intend to explore. but stepping away from that now...

i just watched a final season X-Files episode this afternoon. i only saw a handful of that season's episodes when they were new, for two reasons. first, i was tired of the Mulder story dragging out as long as it did. i wanted him back! and if i couldn't have him back, well, okay, i wanted all the questions answered and goodbye. second, though i enjoyed the characters Doggett and Reyes, and their developing chemistry, i just couldn't bring myself to acknowledge their role as the bench team that got put in during the final quarter because all the damage had already been done and they were not going to overly influence the final score.

hey, as an aside, before i continue with that thought, it just occured to me that i used a sports metaphor while talking about a sci-fi show! this is really funny, because when discussing real life, i am quite given to using examples or metaphors from Star Trek, The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but sports would simply never enter into it.

ok, so this was about the third final season X-Files i've seen for the first time just recently. and it was good. well-paced, emotional, intriguing. i guess i just needed to see it from a further perspective. but if there had been the promise of one more season with Doggett and Reyes after Mulder's story wound up, i would not have given up on it, and would have received my karmic reward. you see, when the final series episode was shown, i was on vacation. naturally, the VCR was set to go. but something happened, the clock was reset, and something else got taped *after* the show was over. i still haven't seen it, and i am still in horror over this. it's like a little tiny hole in my life....hey, are we sponges? or wheels of Lorraine Swiss? see, a sports metaphor would *never* occur to me here.

more insanity, a theme

February 21, later on.

i forgot about the part where i was carrying a large needle around, until i had to fish out the cash-to-get-more cash, and i put it in a basket of straight pins, but i was worried that someone might get hurt when they reached in for a pin. why?

i've decided to make a ramen noodle comparison chart, so look for that soon. i won't really be able to recommend brands, since they are usually only written in kanji, but i figure i can scan the packages. maybe i'll make it a weekly feature, like Noodle Soup of the Week, or something like this. you think i'm kidding, right?

i am clearly insane

February 21, 2003

my Unexplained Phenomena Daily Calendar page for today says that there may be large, unclassified animals in Oregon's Wallowa Lake. ok, but what i really want to write about is the dream i had last night. i wish i could remember where i was visiting, but i stopped for a drink at a sort of kiosk, and a woman there looked familiar; it turned out she was a year behind me in school, and we had drama and gym together. this was helpful later on, as the dream turned into a horror show when all the people wherever i was were turned into knife-wielding thugs. only a few people escaped the influence. the reason i did was because i was having a sort of healing treatment? and i kept closing my eyes, which the healer-guy said wasn't necessary, but turns out it was.

so people of all ages were grabbin' knives and going ape on each other. it seemed like we were in a kind of hotel, and unlike a movie, i eventually found other people who were unaffected, and then we found more, so that we were fighting to take away knives and just get away when and where we could. i can't remember many visual details, but in the end i was with a group of people i knew, some family, a very good-looking man with blonde hair of all things who kept trying to look out for me, and my old high school friend. we made our way outside and it looked like we were in a park, and a few people were roaming around sort of wonderingly.

we went to a tent where a woman gave my husband a ticket to let us all in, and we pooled our cash, because some police officers were giving out 1205 dollars to anyone who had 435, to make a new start in this new, weird world. i was really looking forward to seeing what we did next, but i woke up.