« March 2003 | Main | May 2003 »

revere nothing

April 18, 2003

the kind of letter i write lately, sigh...

Re: registration form. I am neither a Mr. nor a Ms, and I resent having to choose one in order to please a friend by participating in your scheme.

Mr./Mister-formal address for an adult male

Ms-invention by women who no longer wanted to be considered "Mrs" as in belonging to a Mr.

Furthermore, Mrs. was traditionally only used in conjunction with *his* name as long as he was alive, so sites requesting this title in order to use it with a woman's first name are relegating her to traditional "widow" status.

This is all quite silly. But to attempt to escape from it by inventing a title which actually stands for nothing and only implies the vaguest notion of belonging to the female gender is even sillier. Well, 30 years ago it was merely sillier. In the year 2003, I refuse to participate. Therefore, I chose none, and was then informed that I had not filled in all required fields. I will not have my identity dictated by women who still believe that social equality requires a meaningless and outmoded means of address, or by unthinking web programmers. I did not complete the registration.


okay, i did rewatch Pride and Prejudice. i can't help it. i'm infected with this girly disease from time to time, that makes me need to see Darcy putting on that green coat and running out the door with his hair still wet. and then Manchild was on last night. i just love watching Tony Head/James the orthodontist laugh. he has the best laugh expression of anyone. he's not like, my dream date or anything, i just love watching him laugh. if you have BBC America, and don't mind naughty things, look for the V. Graham Norton ep. that features Tony Head. it's pretty much 30 minutes of joy in watching him laugh. also, he has a nice, sort of languid posture and stride. very, very nice.

fickle religion

April 15

today i was playing "who's a god on google?" you type "so and so is a god" and see how many hits come up. they can't be duplicates, of course. i was trying to find as many as i could that only had one return, and here's what i came up with so far. i can't believe no one ever wrote "Rupert Giles is a god." well, i just did, so if google finds me, here it is.

trent reznor-30
adam sandler-54
graham norton-3
colin firth-1
leonard nimoy-1
captain kirk-1
william shatner-1
patrick stewart-2
captain picard doesn't quite count, because of the summaries of an stng episode where some people actually thought he was a god.
david duchovny-6
jerry springer-1
steve buscemi-1
tony head-1
bruce willis-3

tomorrow i will share some fun phrases that garner you only one google return as well. they're stuck on my other computer right now.

i'm having my monthly I LOVE MEN week. concentrated on two today. well, three. my favorite Robert of all time, who is not on the Robert Smith list. because, he's so very special that he deserves so, so much more. and also, he's dead. sigh. i'm referring, of course, to Robert Walden Cassoto, aka Bobby Darin. soon i will be older than he was when he died. that will give me a weepy pause. he was so awesome. i would never have minded the bad early 70s toupees, Bobby. i mean that. i listened to all my favorite Darin songs today, and some of them twice. the twice ones were "Lazy River," "Call Me Irresponsible," and "I'm Beginning to See the Light." i could listen to them over and over again. well, sometimes i do. i will share something special about a different man each day for the next few, including my other two daydreams for today, Jeremy Northam and Rupert Graves. it's so great that they are both heterosexual. i mean, i'd like them pretty much the same if they weren't, but somehow it just wouldn't *be* quite the same.

This would be more interesting if it had first been typed on the other keyboard, which is much better. so look for things to improve tomorrow. i will start mailing things to myself again.

fan girly drivel, apparently

April 13, 2003

i have important things to say, but they can wait. because i need to think about Colin Firth for awhile. mmmmmmmmm. i went to see the Amanda Bynes movie. by myself. i didn't expect much, from the movie, or CF screentime. but, oh, boy. he was totally in this movie for, like, many minutes. i don't know why he needed to take this sort of role, but i'm very happy he did. i'd like to see him play a role where the man comes built-in with personality, instead of needing it to be revealed to him through the love of a good woman or a child, but mostly i just like to see him, often.

Tomorrow night might be a good time to watch my Pride & Prejudice DVD. i have lots of laundry to do, always a fine DVD excuse. and P & P was the first one i ever bought. you're thinking, bathtub scene, swimming in the lake scene, right? eh. i'm not that kind of fee-male. (okay, yes i am, but i have substance, too.)

My favorite Darcy scenes are where he watches Elizabeth from across a room, when he's talking to her uncle and aunt so affably at his estate, and when he makes Bingley's hideous sister cringe when he calls Elizabeth "the handsomest woman of his acquaintance," which is sort of fun to think of now, because Anna Chancellor, who played the cringing Miss Bingley, plays his fiancee in What a Girl Wants, the movie i've been half-talking about. what's even more fun is that his character's name is Henry Dashwood, also the name of the dopey character in Sense and Sensibility who is led around by his selfish wife's little finger. somebody was thinking, they was. kudos there.

The movie is loosely based on the play The Reluctant Debutante, which was made into a film starring Sandra Dee, lo, over forty years ago. but it was updated and spiced up a bit; actually given more of a plot, which is interesting to consider.

But so what? back to Colin Firth. career looking sharp these days, he is in three more movies that are supposed to come out this year; Hope Springs, a romantic comedy with Minnie Driver, Heather Graham and Mary Steenburgen; Love Actually, an ensemble with a zillion famous Brits, which will at least be interesting, and Girl with a Pearl Earring, in which he plays Johannes Vermeer. The last one should be good, hopefully, as it's based on a really great book. go, read it. seriously. but i guess i am looking forward to Hope Springs most, since, you know, romantic comedy; tasty man kissy scenes and stuff. With Girl with a Pearl Earring it's more sub-text-y.

Okay, i am officially creeped-out. i went looking for a picture of Mr. Darcy in the bath, and Google led me to erotic Pride & Prejudice fan fiction. EWWWWW. the subtext in that book smolders wonderfully but above all politely; actual Elizabeth and Darcy sex is just gross and wrong. Stop It!!!!!

bob's your uncle

April 8, 2003, continued... first, in honor of Robert Smith of The Cure, here are some other Roberts i have known.

Uncle Bob--the thing i remember most about Uncle Bob was the Very Large unlabelled jar of non-dairy creamer he carried with him wherever he went. (no, my god, could anyone actually make that up? maybe Stephen King.) he did this from the early 70s onward. Uncle Bob also liked to make with the funny, as i recall. and there was this period of time when he and Aunt Helen believed in the Church of the Ford Bronco. then they became Seventh-Day Adventists. i don't know what they are now.

Bob Crane--he was one of my first crushes. you remember him from Hogan's Heroes, right? so his personal life was a little smarmy, so what? i really just liked Hogan. but last year Greg Kinnearplayed him in a film called Auto Focus, which i never got into the city for, and it certainly never came to the mall. i guess another era has passed, because Greg Kinnear was one of my biggest crushes of the 90s. i watched him every night on Talk Soup during the last few weeks of my pregnancy with child #4, in 1994, even though it was on at 2 am, because i don't think i ever slept at night during that whole pregnancy.

Robert Stack--mmm, Elliot Ness of The Untouchables. ewwww, Unsolved Mysteries host.

Bob Coy--a boy i knew in 9th grade who was in my French class. he introduced us all to Smurfs, and was the first male my own age i could really converse with. that was cool. i don't really remember what he looked like; Ichabod Crane comes to mind. but points for him because he was tall and thin. i'm betting he still is.

i don't much like the name Bob. it doesn't quite sound well, does it? but i do have a brother named Bob and i can't really imagine calling him Robert. on the other hand, it's disconcerting when actors refer to other actors we know as Robert by calling them Bob. like "Bob DeNiro" or "Bob Duvall" or "Bob Wagner." yuck!! plus, i always think of "Bob's your uncle!" i've never been quite clear on what exactly that means, but of course, i do have an Uncle Bob, and i guess my brother is an Uncle Bob, though a sort of silent, far-off one.

okay, i doubt if his name is actually Robert, but i must give a thumbs-up to Agent Smith of the Matrix. yes, i know he's the bad guy. but i love him. i admit that. actually, i might have a wee bit of a crush on Hugo Weaving, who played Agent Smith, and also Elrond in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

OMG!! how could i have left out Bruce Wayne as portrayed by Michael Keaton???? plus, there's Rob Lowe. my daughter has this weird idea that he and i were almost married until i dumped him for Emilio Estevez and married him instead. it's this whole long thing.

ahem. Robert Smith of The Cure. he defeated the Evil Streisand Monster in South Park, and he plays a really cool guitar. his voice totally defines the phrase "happy pain." i love the happy pain i feel while listening to Why Can't I Be You, or Disintegration. and that's all i really have time to say about him now, but here's another great picture of him.