The celebrities whose babies I'd have, that is. So in considering live ones, heeding my friend's lament on the wasteland of current popular culture, it's really a difficult proposition. If Jon Stewart were a little taller and didn't smoke? He could be on my list. But that's just a sad way to look at things. I might be willing to have Scott Bakula's babies, but on the other hand, it's possible that I just mean Sam Beckett or Captain Archer.
Should that be flattering to people? Mothers, I mean? I remember the time I was pushing a stroller with--oh, one of my babies, down a sidewalk in Royal Oak, Michigan (neat little place to spend a day; all the cool kids hang out there) and a guy made some sort of random sexually inappropriate but "flattering" remark about my walk, and his friend then said, and I quote, "Naw man, she's got a baby. You know, loose pussy." That was 7 or 8 years ago. So anyway, last night he tells me I'm totally a MILF, but then follows it up by stating I'd probably also be very attractive to bisexual women. Okay then. I don't mean to imply I'm a dork, but here are the songs I've woken up hearing in my head over the past four days:
Tuesday: Yesterme, Yesteryou, Yesterday--Stevie Wonder
Wednesday: Islands in the Stream--Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
Thursday: If You Could Read My Mind--Gordon Lightfoot
Friday: We're All Alone--Rita Coolidge
How does this even happen?