So I have this simple meal setup that I got, I think, from the federal government. It tells you how big serving sizes are in each food group, how many to have each day, and when to eat them. It's for a moderately reduced calorie day.
I never eat that much food. I wonder how people do. But it seems so well-planned, I'll post it if anyone is interested. I eat unbalanced food, is the problem. Rarely eat fast food, almost never drink soda. Low caffeine, low-to-moderate alcohol, never use mayo, don't put cheese on sandwiches, eat whole-wheat bread but not much, eat very little pasta or rice, not much meat. Avoid corn syrup assiduously. And yet, my day is unbalanced. I eat too much sugar and not enough vegetables, though I like them well enough.
I have a belly that sticks out. I never had that before. In the past, if I gained some winter weight or lazy weight, it was just sort of all over. Now I have that, but also a belly. It's daunting.
Four weeks ago, I weighed my most ever at a non-obstetric doctor visit; 141 pounds. Totally freaked me out. Before this past year, I'd never thought I'd ever weigh over 130 again. I gained over 10 pounds in one year. And I'd gained 5 the year before. See, I spent the year before I turned 40 getting to my perfect weight. Then a few things happened, and not only did I lose the ground I gained, I lost some of the ground next door as well. Lost 9 pounds, gained back roughly 17.
I've been told time and time again it takes 21 days to form a habit. I'm here to tell you it only takes one day, the 22nd one, to break it. I'm a master at that. I am habit-averse, except for a few odd proclivities, and, of course, the basics of hygiene. I could go into the probably why, but that's for another day.
I had free bowling the whole time I was losing that weight. I could bowl as much as I wanted any day of the week for free. I am a fierce bowler, and I'm certain that was a big help. I don't have that privilege now, and bowling is expensive. I have my bike on a trainer, a little Pilates book, and some 5 lb weights. I can't walk outside unless it's at least near 50 degrees and dry, but I do that whenever I can. The rest, that indoor exercise, is much harder. I belong in warm sunshine. Winter hurts me and indoors drags me down.
So right now I weigh 136 pounds. Why'd I lose 5 in 4 weeks? Well, two simple things. One is that I took muscle relaxers just until I was able to move around again, then started moving around again, and two is that, being aware of how bad things had gotten, I did manage to reduce some of the laziest eating I'd been doing. As you may well know, it's a cinch to lose 5 pounds. All the pounds after that are the hard ones.
At the end of 12 weeks, I'd like to weigh 127. And I'd like to weigh 124 to feel my very best. When I reach the 12 week goal, all my clothes should fit again, unless the tummy issue is from some entirely other situation. I don't really think it is. But at my age, getting stronger is the biggest issue, so it's not going to be a matter, as in the past, of just cutting out the stupid foods and only eating the ones that count. Exercise will be a bigger key from now on.
What I plan to write about here is the real problem within me; an inability to properly care for myself, and some reasons why. Please, though, I ask to not be psychoanalyzed. I don't need it. My goal in doing that is simply to think through it all, and for others to relate who are in the same or similar situations.
In addition, I will offer some simple recipes and suggestions for healthy snacks, breakfasts, and thoughts on what I've learned by dealing with low blood sugar over the years. I can guarantee past usefulness, even though I am a very poor role model these days.
In a few days, I'm going to post a link to a funny picture of me in my underwear. You can choose to have a look, if you like. Then I'll post another in a few weeks, to see if anything changed. That'll be my carrot or coal determiner.