if it was snow, it would be, like, all the snow we had this season combined. So that's something, I guess.
I have various reasons for both a) really wanting to use this space a lot, and well, and b) avoiding it anyway.
As soon as I was feeling I *needed* to write about any certain thing, I felt trapped by it. I can't be single-minded, which is, I guess, why I will never be one of those people who builds a big audience. There's no real theme here; I can't sustain just one. I haven't abandoned previous attempts at them, though, just need to spread them out.
(As an aside, I also don't enjoy people turning their need to figure me outjustify their own understandings or lack of them into some sort of debate wherein I find myself inexplicably defending my personality or views, which are largely based on a need/desire to never do that. Life is exhausting enough: I'm too old to still have any fervor for earnest self-examination, and would rather fingerpaint or dig in the dirt.)
Typing inside this little box is kind of like painting, and now and then it's like writing a poem. Sometimes there's not much structure and sometimes it's all about the structure.
It's suddenly very quiet out, for the first time in about 30 hours or more. I can hear water trickling down the gutters, and a few birds have appeared, perched on a wire I can see from my window. They are chirping, and in the distance, an owl is calling. If I listen intently, I can hear cars up on Princeton Pike. But before this there was rain, and thunder, and rain, and wind and wind and wind and rain, for hours unceasingly. Funny what you can get used to in a short amount of time.
Speaking of which, I have parsley growing in my garden. And collard greens, but listen. Parsley. It's a plant that grows for two years (same with the collards) before either dying or needing to be harvested for seeds, etc. But it's never grown a second year for me, until this year. All that snow did us some good; it covered the ground better than my leaf layer could, keeping the ground from completely freezing all winter. I may not have 100% succeeded in this year's effort to keep winter from flattening me physically and mentally, but I mean, I have parsley.
Life can be pretty neat sometimes.